Therapy

How we begin

I don't offer a free introductory call. In my experience, the therapeutic relationship begins the moment I start hearing your story — and I have a responsibility to protect that space from the start, held by a clear, official agreement between us rather than an informal conversation first.

For that reason, we begin with a full initial session, paid, where I'll ask about what's brought you here, along with some context about your life and history that helps me understand your world more fully. From there, we shape what we focus on together, at a pace that feels right for you.

I'm quick to notice patterns — in how you think, feel, and relate to others, and in the deeper structure of your personality. Many clients tell me it feels like being handed a map to their own psyche: finally understanding not just what they feel, but why, and how it took shape. As Thich Nhat Hanh writes, understanding is the root of real love — and self-compassion, in the same way, grows out of self-awareness.

Beyond our early sessions together, my work is experiential rather than purely conversational. I draw on Imagery Rescripting, Chairwork, object and symbol work, and somatic practice to help you actually feel a shift — not just intellectually understand your patterns, but loosen your grip on over-intellectualizing, and come to feel more at ease in your own skin.

Sometimes, empathetic confrontation is part of the work — offering what Schema Therapy calls "limited reparenting": meeting certain needs directly within the therapeutic relationship, including honest feedback and healthy limits that may have been missing growing up. In those moments, I won't simply listen passively — I'll be direct, even sharp when it's called for, and I'll name it clearly if I see a risk of self-destructive behavior. This directness comes from care, not judgment.

I also use the therapy space itself as a kind of practice ground — a place to try out self-expression, assertiveness, and new ways of relating, through role-play, ventilation, and working directly with what comes up between us in the room.

What It's Like to Work With Me

You might recognize yourself in these

Most of the clients I work with have faced challenges like these. I'd like to help you make sense of it — not just understand it intellectually, but actually shift it.

"My relationships keep disappointing me"

Sometimes described as: fear of abandonment, relationship anxiety, attachment issues

• Pulling away just as things get close

• A fear of being left, even in stable relationships

• Feeling lonely even when surrounded by people

• Craving connection, then feeling smothered by it

• Difficulty trusting your own read on relationships

Craving real connection, yet pulling away or feeling empty even when you have it. Underneath, loneliness, fear of abandonment or rejection, and a sense of disconnection from others.

"I feel at war with myself"

Sometimes described as: anxiety, racing thoughts, emotional overwhelm, overthinking.

• Racing thoughts that won't quiet down

• Sudden waves of intense emotion

• A harsh, critical inner voice

• Feeling paralyzed between conflicting feelings

• Exhaustion from fighting your own mind

Different parts of you pulling in different directions, conflicting thoughts running in circles, your feelings and your logic locked in a fight that leaves you exhausted and, often, angry at yourself for not just “getting it together.”

"Old wounds still shape me"

A wounded sense of who you are, how much you're worth, and how safe it feels to be close to others — often without being able to point to exactly when or why it started.

Sometimes described as: low self-esteem, childhood trauma, insecure attachment

• A persistent sense of not being “enough”

• Feeling unworthy of love or care

• Difficulty trusting that people won't leave

• Feeling unsafe even when nothing is wrong

• A shame that seems to have no clear origin

A wounded sense of who you are, how much you're worth, and how safe it feels to be close to others — often without being able to point to exactly when or why it started.

"I keep repeating the same patterns"

Sometimes described as: self-sabotage, unhealthy patterns, personality struggles

• The same conflicts, again and again

• Sensing a pattern, but not knowing how to break it

• Others pointing out habits you can't quite see yourself

• Old coping styles that no longer fit your life

• Feeling stuck in a version of yourself you've outgrown

Ways of coping, protecting yourself, or relating to others that you've lived with for so long they've become almost invisible — which is exactly why they're hard to shift on your own, whether you've recognized them yourself or others have pointed them out.

"I'm searching for meaning"

Sometimes described as: burnout, emptiness, existential crisis, loss of motivation

• Going through the motions, day after day

• Success that doesn't bring the relief you expected

• A quiet sense that something is missing

• Big questions surfacing when you're alone

• Wanting more than “fine” out of life

You know, cognitively, exactly what you “should” be doing with your life — but the spark is missing. Life can feel robotic, even when you're high-functioning and everything looks fine from the outside.

Modalities & How Integrative Therapy Helps

Schema Therapy (developed by Jeffrey Young) works directly with the different “modes” in you — including the vulnerable child mode that carries old pain, the critical or punitive parent mode that scares or belittles you, and the coping modes you've developed to protect yourself from these — tracing them back to the early experiences that shaped them. Together, we work to transform the coping mechanisms you've relied on into healthier, more adaptive ways of meeting your needs, whether that shows up as internal conflict, old wounds, relational fears like abandonment or mistrust, or a schema like unrelenting standards quietly blocking your access to joy. Schema Therapy is experiential, not just talking therapy: rather than only discussing your patterns, we create new, corrective emotional experiences together in session, helping you build a genuine sense of safety, self-coherence, and the courage to live more authentically.

Existential Inquiry (guided by the principles of Irvin D. Yalom) holds space for the deeper human questions underneath these patterns — the tension between who you feel you should be and who you are, the responsibility and choice involved in change, the paradox that real intimacy requires facing our fundamental aloneness, and the search for meaning, freedom, and authenticity when life feels routine or hollow.

Psychoanalytic & Relational Insights (drawing on the work of Nancy McWilliams) explore how early relationships became internalized and still quietly shape you today — tracing where old patterns first took root, why you may keep returning to something familiar even when it no longer serves you, and how these dynamics can also show up, and be understood, within the relationship between us.

Integrative ACT, CBT & DBT Skills offer concrete, structural tools for emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and cognitive restructuring in everyday life — practical support alongside the deeper work above.

Fee

€90 per 60-minute session (VAT-free)

My services are not covered by Dutch basic health insurance (basisverzekering). Payment is out-of-pocket or via select international/EAP providers.

Cancellation Policy

Please provide at least 48 hours' advance notice to cancel or reschedule. Late cancellations or missed appointments are charged at the full session fee.

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